Emerald
by Amae
Summary: KelNeal.. No weird personality changes, no corners cut. It's been here a while, but I've finally split it into chapters by sensible request. A few small changes and one or two shiny new scenes.
1. Chapter 1 The Rider

Chapter One- The Rider

Pennants waved in the breeze as Keladry of Mindelan rode into the palace stables- a quiet homecoming. At her side her best friend Nealan of Queenscove was already vaulting from the saddle. He flashed her a wide grin as he ran for the stairs…

"Brush her down for me Kel, please? You know I'm desperate."

Kel laughed- Neal was itching to see his sweetheart and betrothed -Yukimi noh Daiomoru, and she wasn't about to play the killjoy. It _had _been a long time.

"You're a very, very sad man Neal…but for you, anything."

He blew her a kiss and ran out of sight.

Kel daydreamed as she brushed down Hoshi, dust motes floating in the sun. _Dom was here._ She shivered. Domitan of Masbolle was the sergeant of the Third Company of the King's Own and had the current hold on Kel's secret affections; though he was so handsome, Kel often thought he knew it. Half of Tortall had probably fallen prey to his charms at some point or other…but she couldn't help it, could she? She resolved to go see him as soon as she had finished Neal's mount.

Kel stopped to wash her face in the horse trough, cackling at her dirty reflection. She thought briefly about changing into something more feminine, but decided that Dom had seen her looking worse. Firstly, she trotted up the steps to the mess, looking around, but he wasn't there, so he scooped up some water, and wandered aimlessly until she found herself in the orchard. _There he is._ She recognised Dom's attractive profile laughing in the sun.

"Dom!"

She strode over, noticing his companions far too late. Three ridiculously pretty faces smiled politely at her.

_Women…with Dom…I should have guessed._

"Hello Kel! How was the ride?"

He looked genuinely pleased to see her, so cursing inwardly she forced herself to sit down. Tucking her long legs into a crossed position she sipped her water, and answered all the idiotic questions the women threw at her, before making her excuses and leaving.

_Stupid. Stupid. How could anybody think of me as a girl next to those beauties?_

"She has very big muscles, doesn't she?" a kindly female voice whispered after her.

Kel's ears burned.

"Yes…I suppose she does…" Dom's voice.

_Earth, swallow me up._

Ducking out of sight, she pressed her back to the cool wall of the practice yard and sat, breathing deeply.

_How humiliating._

A shadow fell across her suddenly and Neal's from flopped down next to her. Kel glanced at his face; it wasn't happy.

"You're subdued…everything alright?"

She glanced at him again, concerned, Dom slipping from her mind. He looked deep in thought. After a time he spoke.

"It's Yuki."

"What about her?"

"You know. Things. They aren't right… she wasn't as pleased to see me as I'd anticipated, I guess…

"Uh-huh"

"…and she seemed- different with me, you know?"

"I do know."

He pulled Yuki's _shukusen_ from his belt, and spread it, turning it this way and that in the light. When he spoke again his voice was quiet and sober.

"When I left the chamber, like everyone, I suppose, I was thinking a lot about death and dying…I felt like I needed something to ground me and keep me in this world…and Yuki- she's so grounded… she balances my drama perfectly,"

Kel smiled, she knew about _that._

"The only other person who earths me like that is you, mainly 'cos you're so bloody stubborn"

"Thanks"

"'Most welcome."

He spun the fan.

"I know this kind of thing sometimes happens to relationships, but I thought it really was different this time...She's not the same Yuki I left, anyway."

Disappointment tinged his words. Privately, Kel thought it could take years to know a person properly; and Neal and Yuki were already betrothed after just one…

_What kind of happiness could they expect? _she wondered.

"And all she wants to do is talk about the wedding"

Kel watched is dark eyebrows fan out across his cheeks as he closed his eyes resignedly. She ruffled his hair with sympathy.

"It sounds dreadful. Try again though. You know what women are like."

He looked up at her seriously, watching her face for a moment.

"I know what you're like."

"Yeah well, I'm not your average woman…Now be gone! Go bath or something, you'll feel better."

She shooed him away. Looking down, she saw something shimmering in his wake…the _shukusen_. She tucked it into her belt, thinking about what Neal had said.

"Kel," Lord Raoul of Goldenlake saw the slender figure of his ex-squire trailing the _shukusen _around the courtyard. She looked up.

"Hello sir."

He came jogging down the stone steps.

"I need a lift."

She eyed his huge frame…

"I'm strong sir, but I don't think-"

"Not _me_. King Jon's been scrying. He's seen eight Riders crossing the East Bridge, five injured, one badly. I'm guessing there's been some kind of ruckus, but we won't find out unless we volunteer our lifting services. You know what Baird's like…Come on"

Kel knew Neal's father was a stickler for not letting his patients be troubled, but as they ran into the infirmary, Baird was nowhere to be seen. Instead she was faced with Neal hovering over three Riders, face as white as his rolled up shirt-sleeves. Green magick poured from his fingertips into the prone bodies. The door burst open again, and in staggered a man-at-arms, barely supporting a senseless Rider, a man in his thirties. Kel helped lower the man in front of Neal noting his blanched face and vacant, staring expression. His blood smeared against Neal's shirt. Without missing a beat he began to pour healing magick into the body of the Rider.

Pity and helplessness overcame Kel as she watched her friend turn white. Raoul was in the corner of the Infirmary, quizzing a more lucid Rider about the ambush. _Baird? Where are you?_

She sighed with relief as the slight figure of Neal's father entered the Infirmary, and she began to pour Neal a cup of restorative tea from the kettle at hearth. Baird looked up from the Rider, beyond hope now, to see the Lady Knight plying his shivering son with tea, and wondered.

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Kel helped another man at arms carry the Rider's corpse to the mortuary, where she stood in the cold, looking at him. He had been handsome once. She shuddered, imagining him as someone she cared for… She was leaving as the doors opened again and a small woman came in. Kel recognised her as one of the injured Riders. The woman's face was devoid of any emotion as she stared at the man.

"He's gone then." Not a question. Kel nodded mutely.

"We'd ridden together for twelve years, you know, since we were… silly teenagers."

She still didn't look at Kel.

"He only told me that he loved me last year. I'd waited forever for him to say it…One year."

She touched the dead man's cheek.

"One year is all we've had."

Kel started to go. She wasn't sure if the woman really knew she was there, and the scene was uncomfortable. Suddenly the woman looked at her, blue eyes boring into her own.

"If you ever get the chance to go for it…Love, I mean; don't hold back. You'll regret it so much."

Kel nodded and hurried from the room. Pushing the woman's words aside she focused on Neal, whom she hauled to her feet and marched from the Infirmary.

"Wha' we doin'?" He was groggy.

"Going to Yuki, because you've been daft. You'll have to sleep there"

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Yuki answered her door with surprise.

"Kel! What happened?"

Kel explained as she handed the _shukusen _to Neal who was conscious, but very quiet. She knew how much the healing had taken out of him.

"So he'll be staying here then?" she finished.

Yuki wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"I can't Kel, really…I've just had my chambers cleaned, and anyway, you're so much better than me at this kind of thing. She bowed apologetically. Whatever Kel had expected, it was not this. She felt a flush of annoyance.

"Alright…Well; I'll see you later"

As they turned to leave Neal pressed the _shukusen _into Yuki's palm, who after a tiny pause accepted it.

----------------------------------------------------

In her room a wave of tiredness overtook Kel, and she realized she still hadn't bathed since their return. Still, there was Neal to sort out. She pulled the soiled shirt over his head, looked at it with disgust and went to drop it down the latrine. He was still there when she entered, standing with a dazed expression on his face. She hesitated before taking off his filthy breeches and doing the same. After all he _was_ her best friend and she'd seen most of it before. She left a pair of her loosest breeches on the bed with him, along with a bucket of water and a cloth. Then she went to wash in the lukewarm water a maid had left for her. She poured it over her head as she stood, washing away the road's dust and dirt. A noise on her left made her start.

"Kel?"

Neal had awoken from his daze, and was standing in the doorway. His eyes stayed fixed on her form, mesmerized for a long moment, before looking away.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know where I was and…did that man…did he die?"

She tried a nod, her voice hoarse.

"Yes."

Neal wheeled around and went back into the room; Kel threw a bath-sheet around herself and strode after him. He was sitting, head in hands, on the bed. His hands knotted in his hair furiously before he turned a helpless face to Kel.

"I tried Kel…oh bugger Kel…I tried."

"I know you did."

She told him about the Rider and Yuki and he lay down heavily, tears brimming. She couldn't watch; she went around the bed and lay down next to him, stroking his dark hair: her mind was empty of anything to say.

Neal turned to face her, eyes closed in exhausted misery.

_Gods, _she thought-_ he looks wiped out._

Kel hugged him hard, and after a few moments he put his arm around her and they slept that way the whole night.


	2. Chapter 2 The Fencing Gallery

Chapter Two- The Fencing Gallery

Kel awoke to the sound of urgent knocking on the door.

"Come on Kel! This isn't the done Yamani thing you know…"

The voice belonged to Owen of Jesslaw, Kel's friend and all round fire-brand.

"I'm giving you ten, and then we're coming in"

_We?_

The voice of her friends Seaver of Tasride and Cleon of Kennan sounded their agreement in the hallway.

"Ten, Nine…"

She jumped up and ran into the washroom, where she dragged on a shirt, realising belatedly that it was far too short as she went back into the chamber.

"One!"

The door swung open and Owen peered in. He saw Neal first, curled shirt-less amongst the bed-clothes.

"_Neal!_"

Neal stared at him dully, before telling him-

"My head is not in a sane-enough state to cope with you Jesslaw"

Owen entered followed by Seaver and Cleon. Seaver wolf-whistled playfully at her bare legs, and she tried to ignore Cleon as she swore at him. Cleon looked at her with something awfully like hunger in his eyes as he eyed her figure covertly…

"Meathead slept here last night," she explained, putting them at ease immediately as she opened the windows. Neal winced at the sudden rush of sunlight.

"He'd just almost killed himself by trying to heal the whole Infirmary, and I wasn't going to leave him on his own."

"It's true." Neal told them glumly "My chambers won't be ready 'til tonight either."

"Typical." Owen sniggered wickedly "Only for one minute it looked like you two had…"he trailed off.

Neal looked at Kel, face ashen, hair bed-rumpled. Kel, vividly remembering how he'd looked at her in the bath-tub, refused to meet his eye.

"Have you forgotten Kel?" Seaver said smoothly "You said you'd fence with Owen. His birthday present…" Owen giggled un-mannishly. "..and we wanted to watch him get his head kicked in for the special occasion."

Kel grinned; she did remember.

"I still say you should think about your opponents reach before you challenge them though..."

"Ah, but _this_ time," Owen exclaimed triumphantly "I have gained a few little tricks from The St…Lord Wyldon, so I'm_ confident_ I'm going to win!"

"Is that so? I presume that I'll see you on the court in twenty minutes and we'll find out, eh?"

Owen beamed at her.

"Cheers Kel.

"You're welcome. And Happy Birthday…"

He beamed again and left, followed by Seaver. Cleon gave her one long hard stare before letting the door close softly.

There was silence for a minute, and then Neal spoke.

"Cleon's still keen, isn't he?"

Kel pulled a face.

"I don't know about how he feels, but I know it's over. He's a betrothed man."

Neal said nothing, but Kel noticed something relax in his manner.

"So what are your plans today then?"

He groaned "Go see Yuki, I expect."

Kel spooned honey into some Green tea which she passed to him.

"Will you come to the fencing gallery afterwards?"

His wan smile brightened.

"I guess I will."

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Kel still managed to thrash Owen, but fencing really wasn't her sport. She hobbled back to the stands with hurting thighs. She had refused point-blank to take on Seaver

(Do I look like a masochist?) and sat studying them instead.

From the end of the gallery she heard the clang of an opening door and observed Neal's figure storm towards her, his face pale with fury. He pitched himself into the seat beside her with his teeth gritted and his arms folded tightly across his chest.

"What's up?" Kel tried gingerly.

Neal snorted. When he spoke his voice was bitter.

"Yuki is what's up. We argued again."

Kel was concerned. This was different from the usual crabbiness she saw in Neal all the time; this was sick anger… she swallowed.

"She is livid because I gave her the _shukusen, _and livid also because I stayed in your rooms last night. She doesn't like the amount of time I spend away from Corus, my choice in friends, or even the colour of my tunic today…" his hands flexed into claws as he continued.

"…She also dislikes the amount of time I spend in your company, ranting on about how me and you are bits of a broken bowl or something. Never mind the fact that I wasn't exactly thinking rationally last night: and where else could I stay?"

He stopped, breathing hard.

"You know Kel, if I could go back to last night; I think I'd still choose to give her that bloody fan."

_Two halves of a broken bowl will always fit together_

Kel knew the Yamani proverb well and groaned quietly.

Neal looked at her and his face softened; then his lips curled at the corners into a tiny smile.

Wordlessly picked up her sore legs and dragged them across his lap. She felt a trickle of cool magic flow into her muscles.

"Should you be doing that after last night?"

"Shh. I like to feel useful."

Kel dissolved into the chair as the ache in her thighs diminished.

"Thank Goddess for healers"

"That's me-'The Goddess' gift.'" Neal grinned wolfishly and went down to fence.

"I didn't mean…Don't take all that aggression out on him" she warned exasperatedly. Neal looked back at her as he picked up his foil.

"Fear not, fair maiden; I feel a lot calmer thanks to you" He tipped his fencing mask at her and got into position.

_Thanks to you_

"See you all at dinner," she yelled as she left.

Neal took a button point to the chest as he watched her leave.

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Kel changed direction on a whim as she left the gallery, turning towards Yuki's rooms. Once outside she paused, she wasn't certain whether she should really interfere; but Yuki _was _an old friend. She knocked, but stopped at the sound of angry whispers. Now she was alarmed. Anger was not usually part of the Yamani emotional vocabulary. Before she could make up her mind about entering or not, the door swung open to reveal Yuki and a young Yamani man. Kel thought she might identify the man as Yuki's brother. At the sight of her, their faces swept clear of expression, smooth as stone.

"Kel! How are you? You remember my brother Onoru, of course?"

The man bowed to her, she did likewise.

"Of course, how could I forget?"

Onoru's eyes twinkled.

"You have grown a lot since I used to put insects in your hair, Lady Knight."

He bowed again

"I must take my leave of you, forgive me. Sister." He bowed again and was gone.

"Yuki, what was all that about?"

Yuki beckoned Kel into the chamber and bade her sit down. She allowed a tiny frown to crease the rice-paint on her forehead, signalling her extreme displeasure.

"Ono does not wish me to marry Nealan of Queenscove. He says that father feels the same way about things. He also says that Neal is not serious enough, that he is always away too often, and that he spends too much time with other women.

"Only me…" Kel started.

"Of course only you, but you are still a woman, and it is all the same to Yamani."

She paused and looked down.

"I must say that I have felt the same way too, of late… Perhaps if Neal becomes more serious and stays at home where he is needed, then he will be more suitable for a husband."

Kel watched her friend's lips move, anger blossoming within her.

_Have Neal change? Have all his life and personality drained away?_

Kel saw the wrong-ness of the situation, and knew things could only get worse- Yamani women were not famous for their increasing humour as they aged, and she saw a lifetime of Neal displeasing her with his frequent displays of emotion.

_I thought you were so in love last year?_

Kel refused tea, feeling like being rude for once. She didn't like the effect Court had had upon Yukimi noh Daiomoru, and she felt troubled as she returned to her rooms.

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When she got there she washed, and on impulse changed into a new gown Lalasa had made for her. It was a beautiful understated moss green, taffeta and silk with a few beads sparkling on the bodice. She turned in front of the mirror, feeling unsure.

_It's not too much_ she decided, especially after wrapping an emerald woollen scarf about her shoulders to hold off the chill.

_And it is my first night back at home._

She stared a little longer, tucking her hair behind her ear in a way that almost imitated the chic bobbed haircuts of the Court ladies. She laughed abruptly, at her folly and ran down to the mess.

As usual, nobody in the mess batted an eyelid at the appearance of the Lady Knight, but she drew several very furtive admiring looks as she passed.

_I must remember to thank Lalasa again. The gown fits perfectly…_

Neal watched Kel enter and cross the hall, seemingly deaf to the words of his friends. Cleon looked away with some effort as she sat down.

"You're looking rather delightful tonight, my dearest" Owen told her mischievously, in the pompous tones of a courtly poet. Kel cuffed him around the head.

"Oi, watch it wench, or I won't invite you out to celebrate my birthday!"

"Forgive me…but haven't you just done that?" she asked, smiling. "Where are you going anyway?

Owen sighed in a world-weary manner. "Oh you know, the usual…"

"What he means," Neal's drawl cut in "is the usual circuit of seedy little taverns getting progressively drunker and sillier as the night wears on. And of course, it won't be a proper night out unless Wyldon puts one member of the party in the stocks for exposing himself from the bell tower."

They all laughed.

"I volunteer for that one" Seaver put in

"Any excuse to take his pants off…"

"Yeah, in front of Wyldon especially." Owen agreed.

Kel snorted into her soup.

"I'll have to go change again," she told them "I can't go where you're going dressed like this, can I?"

"Shame" Cleon muttered.

"I'll come with you." said Neal "I need to get some coin from my rooms anyway"


	3. Chapter 3 Out on the Tiles

Chapter Three-Out On the Tiles.

They climbed to Neal's freshly refurbished apartments first and Kel waited whilst he raided his cupboards in the study, the smell of fresh paint in her nostrils.

Neal's possessions had been replaced in his absence and Kel smiled a little at the small cluster of family portraits on the bedside table. True to form, Neal had succeeded already in making a mess of the place… in changing for dinner he'd managed to leave several piles of clothing strewn about and flung over the chair back. Kel sat at the foot of his bed and picked up a soft grey sweater she recognized as a favourite, testing the fabric between her fingers. _Last time he wore this, _she thought, _he was teasing me for wearing that new gown; Peachblossom tried to bite him, but missed, for a change…_

"You ready? Or would you like the full tour of my wardrobe?" Neal lounged in the doorway, grinning at her.

Kel blushed and dropped the garment as if she'd been burnt, before recovering- " Actually, I thought I'd seen all your wardrobe has to offer," she gestured to the heaps of discarded clothes. "Your maid must love you…"

"Oh, very good," Neal said snarkily, starting to throw clothes at random into the wardrobe. Kel snorted with laughter as he pelted several items at her head, changed his mind, and started to heap the contents of his wardrobe on top of her until she was covered in a layer of soap-smelling clothes. She was still laughing as Neal excavated the area around her face and peered in triumphantly.

"Do you yield?!" he queried, in mock-solemn tones. Kel stuck out a hand, which he grasped.

"I yield"

Neal pulled her upright, and laughing removed a vest from her shoulder. He smiled at her rumpled hair and flushed cheeks.

"Teach you to call me untidy, eh?" They surveyed the mess around them and started to giggle again

"How old are we?" Kel asked. "We'd better tidy this up before we go …"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Back at her rooms she went to the wash-room to change whilst Neal waited on her bed. She decided to keep it simple, and pulled on her black hose and long boots, putting over it her softest long-sleeved black tunic and short kid-skin many buttoned jacket. She stepped from the bathroom.

"You look like a young prince," Neal said appraisingly, eying the clothes "or…a cat- burglar."

Kel threw a mock punch and pushed him sniggering from the room. She followed him down to the courtyard, where Cleon, Owen, Seaver and a newly returned Merric stood waiting.

"Faleron's back from the coast." said Owen "He's only here for a week, but he's coming out tonight."

Sure enough, the darkly handsome Faleron of King's Reach trotted onto the courtyard minutes later. Kel embraced him warmly; she hadn't seen him for a long time. Looking around, she realised how long it had been since all her friends had been together like this. Of course some were missing, dotted throughout the realm, but all the same, she sent a prayer of thanks to the Goddess as they walked from the yard. Once on the street their group drew admiring looks; and not just from the girls. Kel was an imposing woman, but her figure and lack of breadth was more noticeable now her year-mates had grown into their adult size.

Owen and Merric ran ahead to bag a table as they entered the dim, smoky tavern, and Kel took the opportunity to buy the first round. She crossed the room, a little conscious of the eyes upon her, and squeezed in next to a tall man, signalling for the landlord's attention.

"Kel!"

She looked at the tall man to her left. It was Dom. He looked a little the worse for wear, and held a pint glass and small foul-smelling pipe.

"What's a girl like you doing in a filthy den of iniquity like this?" he asked her cheerfully. She told him as she ordered the drinks, feeling for once, entirely un-awed by his presence. He looked a bit grubby, and she knew for tonight at least, that she was looking good. He helped her carry the drinks across, and said a hello to Neal, who gave him a rather un-cousinly look, before he returned to the bar. Kel didn't look as he went, thinking back to the embarrassment of their last encounter and thanking the Goddess for good tailors.

The night proceeded to go well and there was an amusing, easy atmosphere. Faleron, Owen and Seaver had started on the drinking games. Kel and Neal drank less than the group, and sat aside a little, discussing Neal's problems with Yuki and Kel's past liking for Dom. The man himself was unsuccessfully attempting to persuade a colourfully dressed young-woman to leave with him.

"Well of course you like him; he is _my_ relation" Neal joked, dodging a kick.

Kel thought to herself that she felt among brothers that night, excepting Cleon, who stared at her for longer than was really necessary. His eyes were shadowed and Neal found himself snapped at more than once, his sharp tongue seeming to irritate the redhead even more than usual. _Neal_, thought Kel, _who seems less like a brother as time goes on_….. _So what is he? _she wondered.

It was after midnight when they clambered back to Owens's rooms, where they drank spirits and arm-wrestled. When the talk turned to girls again, Kel got ready to leave. Cleon was asleep in the corner and the rest of the group lolled about lazily. Neal was curled in a chair, his smart shirt now untucked, loose at the collar and rolled up at the cuffs. One long leg hung over the chair arm as he listened. He looked a little bored. Kel caught his eye, and he jumped up immediately and crossed to the door, purloining a bottle of port from Owen's well-stocked supply.

"Any more of this and I think my brain may implode" he whispered to her, his breath hot in her ear. She grinned.

She knew the feeling. They made their excuses and left the group laughing, as Merric sighed over the exquisiteness of some Court beauty.

"Is that _all_ men can talk about when they're drunk?" Kel wondered aloud as they strolled back to her chambers. Neal took a careful swig of the port.

"I would like to say that it's just a product of drunkenness, but I'd be lying. Women and sex occupy an inordinate amount of the male psyche. Although…" he paused for thought "…those lot are a _particularly _depraved bunch."

Kel giggled.

"What's the rest of the male psyche occupied by then?" she asked half curiously.

"Oh, wars and fighting and that kind of stuff. We are an exceptionally dull species."

"I can imagine" she said as she unlocked her room, suddenly nervous that she had left it messy… but no, a servant would have already been in to light the lamps and draw the blinds. Neal couldn't exactly talk, even if it was, could he?

She went in and took off her boots, watching the curve of Neal back muscles as he poured the port. _His shoulders have definitely gotten broader _she thought as her eyes travelled down his form._ But why does that matter to me? It's Neal for Gods sake.._

"One glass of port for the Lady, courtesy of Mr. Jesslaw- let us hope he thinks he drank it himself- and…. one for me…" Neal was saying.

He turned and looked at her properly as he handed her the drink, taking in the high colour of her cheekbones, her mussed hair. His green eyes were vaguely feverish.

_Oh my._

Neal's lips parted slightly, as if to say something. He cleared his throat as if the words had, for that minute, gotten stuck. Then he looked; from her eyes, to her lips and back again.

Kel's heart hammered irrationally.

He dropped his drink and bundled her into the door, kissing her violently. Kel's eyes widened. _This is Neal _she told herself _Neal is doing this…_ then realized that she really didn't care. She kissed him back incredulously and pulled off his loose shirt, her fingers questing for the ridged muscle of his back. He plucked at the jacket she wore, then yanked it from her shoulders.

It felt strange to have his face, so familiar, so close to hers, his skin on her skin as he kissed tiny kisses along her jaw. He tore off her tunic and breastband and pressed his bare chest to hers; his skin burned and she could feel the thud of his heart. His tongue was suddenly in her mouth, meeting hers, then she gasped as his kisses moved down her neck to her stomach. She felt him take off her hose, whilst loosening her loincloth and his breeches, his fingers questing over her thigh.

She wanted this. She met his eyes, her hand stroked softly its way down his spine.

"_Oh Gods Kel_" he whispered and drove into her hard against the door, making her cry out, before carrying her to the bed and kissing out all his frustration.

She felt him watching her face as he brought her to climax, every part of her thrumming with the new sensation. She held his head as he found his own release…

Kel felt oddly wonderful with her fingers in his dishevelled hair as she looked up at him, a question in her eyes. He answered her with a single look, and kissed her more sweetly than she ever had been before.

Later together, they lay belly to belly, Neal snuffled slightly as he buried his face in her neck.

_This feels completely…right _she realized. Along with he torrent of new emotions in her body was the thought of how it might feel to lose him. The other half of the bowl, her long-time companion. He knew almost everything he could about her, the bad and the good. _No-one more than he does…_

"I want this Kel," Neal's voice was low, husky in her ear. "So much… all along…"

She didn't trust herself to answer, instead she tucked his sleepy earthy body to hers and let herself fall asleep in their warmth.


	4. Chapter 4 New Mornings

Chapter Four- New Mornings

With the dawn, Neal watched Kel slip out of bed into the washroom, and he followed quietly. He watched as she slipped a piece of jewellery around her neck, and turned to see him watching. He was soft and sleepy faced, hair crumpled in a halo around his head…

"Mornin'"-he came towards her.

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They lay asleep for sometime, until a hammering at the door woke Kel up. She refused to open her eyes. _Go away_ she thought. Then Cleon's voice spoke.

"Kel, I hope you haven't forgotten about the Immortal's Meeting…? Raoul said Baby Griffin would probably be there…A hangover is no excuse you know…"

_I had forgotten, _she thought _I'll have to go and… Did we lock the door last night!_

Quietly the door clicked as it opened and Kel clenched her eyes shut. Neal still slumbered, but…

Cleon let out a quaky breath as he surveyed them, tangled in the bed-clothes; Kel held her breath for what felt like an eternity until the door closed. Owen and Merric's voices sounded in the corridor.

Cleon's voice was tight as he answered them.

"She says she'll be on her way. Won't be long.".

Kel jumped out of bed and found she was shaking. She washed and started to dress, and woke Neal who smiled sleepily at her, she couldn't resist kissing him. He frowned as she told him about Cleon and the Immortal's Meeting.

"He shouldn't have tried the door…" he said

"I know, he shouldn't….Now let's get some breakfast before we face people."

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In the mess she listened good-humouredly to the chatter of her friends, but couldn't meet Cleon's eye. She could feel the older redhead watching her as she laughed, full of a feeling she couldn't quite describe, edged with elation. Neal gave her a shaky smile across the table as Owen waxed lyrical about the night before.

"…and that's where I told him to put the lemon…"

Looking around Kel noticed a missing face.

"Where's Seaver?" she asked abruptly..

Owen chortled with impish delight. Neal began to grin expectantly.

"Well, last night, after you two buggered off, Seaver decided that the bell tower plan wasn't to his taste…"

Owen paused for dramatic effect.

"Instead he decided to go sing a few love songs to Maude of Loden. He'd been wailing for half an hour before he looked up to see her mother glaring at him"

Neal and Kel burst into laughter.

"What then?"

"Well, we rescued him of course, but needless to say, he's lying low for a while"

"You should've stayed," Merric told them "it was good fun."

Kel looked at Neal.

"Oh I'm sure they had plenty of fun by themselves." Cleon put in harshly. Nobody else noticed the sharpness of his tone, and continued to chat.

"Certainly Cleon.We did. Nice of you to care." Neal said giving Cleon a long, careful look as he buttered some bread. His fine features carried a hint of warning.

Kel kept silent, waiting. Cleon's temper could be explosive, and she wasn't ready to have the happenings of last night known to her friends, when she had barely processed them in her own mind. Eventually Cleon looked away, face showing nothing.

"Right," Neal said mildly "I think we should be on our way to this meeting then…"

They left the mess together and turned towards the Great Hall.

"There's going to be trouble there," Neal told Kel "If he hasn't told them already he soon will. I don't think get used to it easily"

Kel stopped "Used to what?" she asked carefully

Neal looked suddenly unsure.

"Well…used to us, if that's what you would like. I mean, I can't imagine anyone better…"

Kel hugged him reassuringly, her heart soaring.

"Nor can I."

He threw up his hands in bemusement.

"You had me worried there, with that bloody face." He looked at her affectionately.

"I love you, you know."

Kel smiled a little half smile.

"I love you."

They stood outside the Great Hall doors for a moment.

"Now come on, we have a meeting to go to."

They pushed open the double doors to the hall and were faced by the sight of a hundred glittering rows of Immortals. Amongst the otherworldly chatter and swooping Stormwings, Kel discerned the much larger body of her Griffin. She fought the urge to rush across to him.

"Look, Neal. Griffin."

Neal pulled a face and pretended to look alarmed.

"Don't tell him I'm here.."

Tkaa the basilisk found seats for them far up in the newly erected stands, commenting drily.

"Let's hope his majesty can make a difference for Tortall this time."

Kel nodded keenly, as they sat back, and watched history happen.


	5. Chapter 5 Endings

Chapter Five- Beginnings and Endings

_TWO MONTHS LATER._

Kel's faced burned as she told him, tears falling from her eyes unchecked. Disappointment filled her body as she sobbed. Neal had caught her in the latrine that morning, quietly throwing her guts up.

"That first time?" Neal's voice was frantic with concern as he tried to comfort her. She nodded. Her mind went back to the first morning, when she had put on the pregnancy charm too late.

"I feel so ridiculous," she confessed, "I spend my entire life striving towards knighthood, and then I go and get myself…" she stopped, faltering on the word.

"Hey." Neal tilted her chin and looked into her face. "Girl, I got you into to this Gods-cursed mess, and I'll stay by you, whatever you want to do."

Kel sobbed, "You don't want me to get things taken care of?" her voice was almost a whisper. Neal looked at her steadily.

"I would _never_ ask that of you if you didn't want to. Women can still have children and fight. Just look at the Lioness- she's had oodles of babies."

"Two, at the last count, and she's a lot older than me."

"It doesn't matter Kel. You're young and strong and if you want to do this, then I think you should. I think I'd be a rather good father, if I say so myself"

"Hmmm. So do I."

She looked down again, her head spinning.

"It would be so _hard_. I don't think I could do it alone."

"Who says you'll be alone? You can't for a second imagine that I'd leave you, can you? Anyway: you've experienced Baby Griffin. After that I should think you'll be immune to anything miniature."

Kel wiped her tear-stained cheeks.

"I couldn't get rid of a baby just because the Goddess sent it to me at the wrong time for me…I don't think I could look at another baby without thinking about it."

He reached out for her hand and squeezed it.

"No. Nor me."

Kel stood up, straightening her clothes. She felt cooler, accepting, but terror filled her when she thought of the reactions of her mentors and old friends.

_Gods. Think of Wyldon._

Neal walked with her to the door of the deserted tea-shop.

"I think we'd better do some talking to people, don't you?"

She nodded and felt hopeful as they stepped into the sun.

Neal clasped her to him, but hen his eyed widened as he looked beyond her. Kel turned to see Cleon, standing alone.

"Cleon!" he grinned "What are you…"

Cleon smacked him around the face, his jaw clacking audibly. Neal didn't move, but put his hand to face.

Cleon looked as if he couldn't believe his own actions.

"Piss off Queenscove, before I hurt that smiling face of yours any more"

Neal gave Cleon a wounded look as Kel gaped at Cleon in disbelief. She took Neal's arm and wordlessly they walked away, leaving Cleon stranded after them. Down the street, they turned into an alley. It was quiet and shaded, invisible to passers-by. Kel didn't know the area, but she knew they were near the canal by the stench. Her mind whirred. What had provoked Cleon to be so _nasty?..._ He knew that he and Kel couldn't have a future together, so why was he acting the way he was? More importantly, what would he say when he found out that Kel carried Neal's child?

Neal seemed a little upset

"Well I wasn't expecting so violent a reaction…"

"_MINDELAN_" A voice hissed near her, cold as a breath of winter wind. Thick arms seized her from behind, dragging her through a small door. She found herself in a small, high-walled courtyard, white washed and clogged with weeds. Behind her, the grinning faces of Garvey of Runnerspring and Zahir ibn Alhaz holding Neal. His face was grim.

_What the f…_

The tall man blocking the doorway lowered his hood. Kel's initial impression was that of an other-worldly creature, fine boned with silvery blonde hair falling to his shoulders. A firm, almost cruel mouth smiled faintly at her; she found herself looking into eyes like glaciers.

"_Joren?_" she whispered, cold "Joren is dead"

She heard Neal gasp.

"Keladry. How nice, and with Queenscove too, doubly so." His voice was smooth, almost pleasant-sounding to Kel's ears. Neal swore and there was a snapping sound followed by a yelp. Kel started towards him but Zahir held up a jagged armour spike.

"One move closer, whore, and he'll be in the Realms of the Dead." Kel halted, frozen with indecision. Joren spoke again.

"You know, I really couldn't believe my fortunes when I saw the two of you creeping around Corus today. The opportunity was just too perfect to miss."

Kel clenched her teeth.

"Why are you doing this Joren?"

He didn't speak for a long time, his eyes shadowed. She wondered if he'd even heard her. Then, without warning, he walked up to her, and planted his gorgeous face near hers, and began to speak quietly. His voice was without any warmth.

"I shouldn't have to tell you Mindelan, that you embody everything I have lost? You have the respect of your peers, your friends, family. A Knighthood. Just _how_ have you done it? What sorcery have you sunk to?" he searched her face, as if looking for a riddle's answer. Kel had heard this before.

"You lost it all, Joren, because of how much you hated me. Your inability to adapt… And for what? Why?"

She stopped, hoping she hadn't provoked him too much.

He continued as if she hadn't said a word.

"I had to pretend that I had died in that Chamber, rather than let the world know that it deemed me unfit…and all the time since then?" his smile was ghoulish "I have thought about all the things I would do to you…Now Garvey and Zahir, they've kindly offered to help me today, seeing as they have how you've made life difficult for them."

"What do you want from me?" she asked softly, suddenly afraid. It was hard to remember that he was just a man when he stood so close to her. He was so white and unearthly- looking she found herself catching her breath. He had gotten big too, muscle bulked out the shoulders of his cloak as he pressed in on her claustrophobically.

"Ah Keladry…Keladry…You've become quite ravishing, you realise. All that lean, taut flesh, those pretty lips." Kel made herself not hear him as Neal spat out some words about keeping it from where it wasn't wanted. Joren looked at him, interested.

"Don't worry Keladry, I don't want that from you…" he eyed Neal again "…Yet…"

"What then?" she said, her voice tight. Neal was tensed up, she could tell by the way his brow glistened that the way they held him was hurting.

"I want you to fight me."

"What?" She stared at him, feeling numb. Her hands flew to her stomach unbidden. Neal looked at her with shocked eyes. _No._

"No. I can't"

"_What?_" irritation snapped in his reply. "What do you mean- _can't_? It's most unlike the plucky Lady Keladry I once knew to pass up the opportunity of a scrap. Or are you not so brave without those dogs sniffing around you like a bitch on-heat?"

"I said _no._" she began to back away.

Joren's face convulsed. "Well that's funny Mindelan, because I say _yes_." He lunged at her with a swing which she barely dodged. She couldn't allow herself to fight at the expense of the life inside her. She tried to summon a yell as she dodged away again, but instead heard one from Neal as his captors twisted his arms behind him. She looked at him distracted for a second and a solid punch connected with her cheekbone, splitting it. Her head rolled back, and she staggered, things went fuzzy, then cleared.

"No." She backed away again as Neal thrashed to get loose. Joren loomed enormous, looking more like a battle enraged Scanran by the minute as he came at her again.

"No, Joren. No."

She tried to feint, but she had little room in the enclosed space and found her back against the wall. He thumped her again, harder, aiming for the nose, but split her lip, and again, making her sinuses burn. She raised her arms helplessly as another ripped her eyebrow open.

"No." She could hear Neal cursing as she they hit him, but Joren kicked at her, forcing her back against the wall, forearm crushing her throat. He was so _strong_, and she could feel herself becoming slower and pathetically weaker.

_This wasn't meant to…_

Paralysed, she felt Joren slash open her tunic, cleaving in two all that covered her from neck to hips, and she felt a sting as the knife he used scored her belly.

Dumbly, she realized his arousal and tried to knee him between the legs, but he slapped her again, tearing at her hose, and loosening his own.

She was failing now; she could hear vague, sickening thumps and broken shouts as Neal was beaten into the dust yards from her. She summoned her strength and redoubled her efforts, raising her hands from where they scrabbled at her sides and gouging at Joren's eyes. He cursed with pain and thumped her hard in the guts, his face made hideous with loathing. She fell to the ground, pain exploding from every pore. His foot connected again and she convulsed, feeling sick. She saw his foot raise itself again.

"Stop it!" The cry was Neal's.

"She's _pregnant. _She won't fight because she's _pregnant_!"

Joren's foot withdrew from Kel's blurring vision.

"She's what?" Joren spat out the words, and then

" Garvey, Zahir, come on. It's done. Now!"

The two released Neal who crawled bleeding to Kel's side.

Joren gave him and Kel a long stare. Something like raw envy shone in his eyes.

"_What the fuck are you looking at, you evil bastard!"_

Neal started towards him, grimacing in pain. Joren looked again, unspeaking, and was gone. For Kel, everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6 Healings

Chapter Six-Healings

Neal didn't know how he managed to get Kel to Alanna, but he did, trusting that the Lady Knight would know what to do. She did.

"Who did this to you?" she asked, appalled, as Neal lurched into her apartments supporting a senseless Kel. They were both covered in blood.

Neal gasped out the tale as they set Kel on the bed, then doubled up wheezing with pain. Alanna yelled for a serving man, who ran to the infirmary at once for medicines and another healer. They were both in an atrocious state.

"I need to get these clothes off her Neal, although it looks as if someone's already done a good job of doing that." She set her face grimly as peeled back the frayed remains of Kel's clothing. A violet light shone from her palm as it travelled over Kel's prone form.

"Fractured cheekbone- Gods she's been hit hard- fractured jaw. Assorted splits, dislocated shoulder, three ribs broken, scoring of the abdomen and massive bruising of the same…" Her voice was bleak as she listed the hurts.

"She hasn't been violated…" Neal nodded mutely.

"…and no bleeding inside, except…" she bit her lip.

"Neal, Kel's pregnant…was…pregnant. She's losing the baby. There's nothing I can do."

"_Nothing?_" His voice was a croak, tears brimming.

"Are you sure Alanna?" With a jolt, Neal looked up to see his father and Lord Raoul standing in the doorway.

"I'm sure, Baird" The older man strode over, green light at his fingertips.

"Yours, Neal?" his voice was softer.

Again, Neal nodded.

"Right. Alanna, see to my boy and I'll see what I can do for Keladry."

Neal watched as his father worked, his eyes on Kel's death-pale face as Alanna popped back broken ribs and ground his nose back into position.

Raoul came to squat beside him. His face was dark.

"Who did this to you Queenscove?"

Neal gulped, and became conscious of how thirsty he was. Raoul passed him his canteen.

"You won't believe it sir. In truth I'm wondering myself if it was all just a poppy dream. It was Joren- of Stone Mountain, with Zahir ibn Alhaz and Garvey of Runnerspring for his back-up. They sprung us in an alley; we were completely taken by surprise, and dragged us into this revolting little courtyard. They held me, whilst Joren spoke to Kel. I didn't hear a lot of it. And then he was talking about her body, y'know, and I wanted to kick his teeth in. After that he said he wanted to fight with her, and she said she couldn't, because she's…she was pregnant. Ours. By the time she'd realized he wasn't going to stop, she was too weak to get him off."

He drank some more water. Alanna was closing the grazes on his knees incurred as he knelt in the dirt watching the woman he loved get beaten, her face impassive.

"Then he started to throttle her, cut off her tunic. He was so strong, like he'd gained another person in sheer brawn since he _died._ He would have raped her then, in front of us all. But…" he smiled proudly, his lip splitting again "…she went for the eyes… That was when she fell and he kicked her; kept kicking her, in the stomach. He stopped when I told him why she wouldn't fight."

When Neal finished Raoul was looking at Kel as she lay on the bed. The expression in his eyes was unreadable. Pure vengeance filled those of the Lioness.

"_That sack of shit-Joren…I told Wyldon…" _she checked herself

"Baird? Is everything…fixable?

He looked up and smiled palely at her.

"Almost everything, Alanna, I think I can cope. But after the healing I imagine she'll sleep for days."

"Good" Without a word, she and Raoul swept from the chamber.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The mess hall Kel and Neal went down to four days later went grave-quiet when they walked in. After a playful half hour spent removing Kel's rib bandages (_So becoming you could start a new fashion,_ Neal had teased,) and another protracted fifteen minutes of him rubbing bruise balm a little more slowly and thoroughly than necessary into her various injuries, they had decided to brave breakfast.

Kel changed into her loosest and most comfortable hunter greens, wondering all the while what the situation would be when they emerged from their Baird-imposed seclusion. For four days they had rested and healed, their food and bathwater brought daily by servants. Kel thought it had helped somewhat, leaving them both free to cry a little for their lost child. The unspoken thing that kept them sane was the hope that Joren would be brought to justice, soon.

Kel felt calm as she followed Neal's broad shoulders down to the mess-hall. He squeezed her hand as they entered, and to her surprise, did not let it drop as she knew Cleon would have done. Most of the Knights of the Own were too polite to whisper, but as everyone ate together during the interlude from war, squires and pages packed the hall, buzzing like bees.

Neal looked amused when Kel went a bit green at the sight of food and fetched a pot of tea from the counter whilst Kel slithered into a seat between Owen and Seaver. Their arms went around her shoulders immediately as the tension broke and loud chatter filled the hall again.

"I hear that you've been involved in a scrape, Mindelan? Now go on, name those you fought with." Owen's impression of The Stump of her youth was uncanny. The real Wyldon had given her a look of such barely disguised worry upon their entrance, that she didn't trust herself to look at him again. Neal sat down opposite her and thrust a cup of tea in her direction.

"Bloody gossips" he said to no-one in particular.

"True," Kel told Owen "I feel such a fool, letting myself get pounded like this…"

The familiar words could not quite disguise her friend's anxiety. Neal broke the silence.

"What's the news anyway? Whilst we've been honeymooning no-one's told us anything."

Seaver spoke up-"The last that was heard, The Lioness and Giantkiller were headed down the Conté Road with half the Royal Guard. The Lioness is beside herself that a worm like Joren is heading anywhere near Pirate's Swoop, so she won't stop until they get him."

This was the first acknowledgement of Joren's existence.

Cleon cleared his throat.

"Milord Raoul also says that you're not, either of you, to entertain the notion that this fuss is all for you…" his voice was soft, apologetic.

"…he says that faking one's own death is a serious offence, and even if it isn't Joren, then they can get him for impersonation of a noble, which is just as bad…"

Cleon shut up after a look from Neal.

"Oh it was Joren alright," he half-hissed

Raoul's lame excuse would hardly be enough to satisfy any suspicious conservatives who might chance to ask _why_ half the army were marching away from the enemy, Kel thought. She hoped that Alanna and Raoul wouldn't find themselves in hot water, but more than that she prayed they'd drag Joren back to Corus.

A page fluttered a napkin to get the group's attention.

"Nealan of Queenscove?" Neal looked up. "Yukimi noh Daiomoru is looking for you."

Neal met Kel's eyes, which glittered, half-amused. He jumped up and looked wildly around the table at his friends who concealed their grins well.

"I know you think this is hilarious, you buggers…" he said hotly

"Come on, spit it out, don't mind me!"

He waved away the loitering page- "I'll go right up."

-----------------------------------------------

"Nealan of Queenscove!

The plump Yamani was livid under her white rice makeup.

"Where have you been?"

Neal didn't feel up to an explanation. Where had_ she _been? The palace was humming with talk.

"Yuki, what is this about?"

She bustled closer, her eyes wild.

"Our marriage is what this is about. I have been looking for you for days. Where have you _been_?" Her Common was broken in her anger.

"There is no marriage Yuki. You took back the _shukusen _almost three months ago. We agreed."

"Well we must un-agree."

"_What?_" Neal held his hand to his brow; he had the faint beginnings of a headache.

"Father send me his word. The match back at home didn't work out..."

She had the decorum to look ashamed.

"…this is why we must marry again."

There it was. She was so certain of his love…What had happened to the sweetly bossy little thing he had loved last summer? She had become…insane.

"Ok? My father writes to your father now."

Neal imagined Baird's mystification.

"Yuki; I cannot marry you."

"You must."

"I will not marry you, then."

"You cannot refuse this. We have…"

"What? Slept together? I would have married you, Yuki if things…_you_ hadn't turned out like this. You're a very different woman to the one I met…Thank Goddess I found out before…"

"You dishonour me?

"You dishonoured yourself Yuki!..I am sorry, if I could take this all back, I would."

"You _dishonour me!_"

"There was no dishonour…we slept together, only once, with the full expectation of marriage. We didn't plan things like this, I wasn't good enough for you, remember? Think about it…Yamani custom will understand. Everyone would."

"Do you love another?"

A pause.

"Yes."

"Who?!" The Yamani's expression was sour as her eyes darted about his face. With alarm he noticed her hands on the _shukusen _at her waist.

"Which whore has snared you now?!"

Neal sighed dramatically.

"Yuki, I'm not talking to you when you're like this."

"Who? Which bitch has stolen my husband?"

She was shaking a little and her left eye twitched.

"Who, Neal?"

He took a deep breath.

"Keladry of Mindelan…You always said we were two halves of the proverbial bowl… well now we are the whole bowl, so to speak."

"Kel?" She was stark white; whether with wrath or rice-paint he couldn't make out.

"Keladry of Mindelan?

"Yes"

"You _bastard._ I curse both of you! I wouldn't marry you if I had to choose between you and a _Scanran. _Bastard!"

She raced towards the door, slashing down a thin red line down his cheek with the _shukusen_ as she passed. Then she was gone.

Neal touched his cheek ruefully, and shrank the cut to a thin silver scar.

_Goddess_ he thought, _that went wonderfully. Wait 'til I tell Kel._

-------------------------------------------------

Kel tried desperately not to giggle as Neal told the tale to her and the group, enhancing the worst of it with theatrical flourishes. By the end of it she had tears rolling down her face with mirth. Even Cleon was smiling.

"Ah Queenscove, you only pick the best, eh?" he said sarcastically, looking in a not-so sarcastic way at Kel. Neal hung his head in mock-despair.

The group all loafed about in Kel's room drinking tea after some afternoon practise. Owen had removed Jump from Lord Wyldon's stables, where he had been spending most of his time nowadays, swaggering around the lady-dogs. Even a few sparrows had come in from the sun to visit. Kel felt transported; back to more innocent days of the old gang together. Back when Cleon didn't feel bitter about her, or when she wasn't in agonies thinking about hurting the man who beat and tried to rape her: and made her lose her baby. A dust mote tickled her nose, making her sneeze. It seemed only natural that the man would be Joren, after all- she _had_ spent most of her life fighting him…. Neal's hand rested easily at her shoulder idly twisting a strand of her hair as he told them of Yuki's fury. She felt a pang of contentment. At least he made things tolerable.

"I _honestly_ thought she might take my throat out"

"Aww, poor baby!" Seaver indulged.

Guffaws all round.

Later they went down past the practice courts to the green training field, and sat on the grass with a bottle of wine. Neal and Kel abstained whilst Cleon had three, but they all watched the rays of sun descend behind Corus' rooftops, insects waving on the evening air.

_I wish this time could last._

Neal made love to her slowly and carefully that night, as if he knew himself that it couldn't


	7. Chapter 7 Judgements

Chapter Seven -Judgements.

"Oh for Goddess sake, if they have him now, I'm going down there!" Neal's voice shook with venom. "That _whoreson_ in the same castle as you…I'm going down…"

"Neal. No, you know you can't"

Kel's tone was balm- she knew Neal's rages well and she soothed this one. A squire had just delivered the report that Raoul and Alanna's party had returned to Corus, towing three particular criminals. Neal hardly waited until the squire had gone before blowing up. She tried not to show how her hands trembled at the news, longing to position themselves around the throat of Joren of Stone Mountain and send him to the Realms of the Dead.

Neal clenched his fists frustratedly and blinked at her. "I _know_ you're feeling just the same, Kel, however much you cover it."

Kel looked up at him grimly, her face showing nothing. His green eyes were fixed expectantly on hers. She looked away; he was right.

"He's in the hands of Turomot now, and much good may it do him," she thought of the thin, aging magistrate- a champion of justice and general all-round miserable old sod. She knew from experience he would be completely impartial.

"We can hope for trial by combat at least."

"And then I'll rip his…"

"_You_ won't do anything. I will. It's _me_ he injured. You can't let Tortall think one of its Knights will let another fight her battles for her."

Neal exhaled.

"Of course Kel: I still forget sometimes that you've always fought your own battles. It just makes me feel like a bloody page again, worrying sick when you disappeared into the halls at night…I forget I can't defend your honour by ripping his limbs off." He scrutinized her warily… "I think you're _trying _to turn me grey."

He still looked riled as he paced the fencing gallery.

Kel stopped him and kissed him squarely, breathing in the woody scent of his skin.

After finishing up a little too close to finding solace behind a wall-hanging for both their comforts, they smoothed their clothes and sauntered out.

A smiling Raoul was waiting for them in the stands.

"Ah, Young lovers!" he crooned liltingly. "I though, for one minute you were going to get entirely too loving for my presence and I'd have to leave. Nice to know Tortall's finest have self-control alongside all that unbridled passion.

Kel turned red. Neal raised an eyebrow.

His voice hardened a little. "I suppose you want to know what we're doing with that sack of scum and his cronies?"

"Yes sir" Neal affirmed.

"The day after tomorrow, Turomot's Chambers. The trial begins at midday; The Lioness and I will testify; Baird and Cleon too. There is no question of his guilt. The main question is, what will you fight with?"

Kel felt a roaring in her ears and she gulped back tears of thanks. She crossed to where Raoul sat and kissed him once on the forehead. His big arm caught her tightly around the shoulder. Then she padded from her room shielding her face.

Neal watched her leave, frowning, then went to sit next to Lord Raoul. There was a pause before the younger man spoke.

"Sir…. Raoul…It means so much to her that that ba…that Joren of Stone Mountain be captured. I know you and Lady Alanna have worked bloody hard to…I can't thank you enough." He trailed off, looking down.

Raoul laid his hand on Neal's shoulder.

"Neal, you and Kel have been squires to both me and The Lioness. The best of squires - and friends too. When I saw you both beaten up that day, heard about your child…it's been a long time since I felt such a rage inside me…"

He smiled grimly. "I swear to the Goddess if Kel doesn't pulverise that bastard, hang the law, I'll go into the circle and rip off his head myself."

_I'll be with you_ thought Neal as he gripped Raoul's shoulder in silent thanks and left the Gallery.

Neal found Kel in the yard, pattern dancing so fast she blurred. He watched her admiringly before waving for her attention. She slowed almost reluctantly and looked wanly at him. He pulled a stern face-

"What am I going to do with you, eh?"

Kel let herself be led to her chamber, where she stripped for a freshly poured bath. Neal observed her as she climbed in, last fading bruises on sinewy beauty; he had no doubt of her power at all. She turned her head to see him watching and smiled. He walked towards her.

---------------------------------------------------

The morning came, insistent and cold, with a rapping on the door of Kel's chamber. Neal spelled open the lock lazily, and Owen's cheery face appeared.

"Sorry to interrupt. Is she?"

"Not yet." Neal groaned as he swung his legs out of bed. "She's been dreaming about it all night though, I've been listening. Crying out when I get hit." Neal's voice was neutral, his expression veiled.

Owen came into the room, followed by Merric. "We brought you breakfast. The best stuff we could get; didn't think you'd want to face the mess today."

"You would be right."

Neal got up and stretched. His long linen breeches couldn't hide the masses of fading bruise on his lean torso. His friends tried not to gawk as he found four cups and set a blaze in the hearth and under the kettle with his fingertips

"What time is it?" he enquired abruptly

"You have three hours. Best leave her to sleep for a little while." Owen looked at Kel fondly.

"Neal…" Seaver began.

Neal knew _that_ tone. "What is it?"

"It's Cleon," Owen rushed in "He's refusing to testify that he saw you uninjured before the attack…"

"He _what_!" Neal was furious "But Turomot has already been informed… That's as good as saying we could've been attacked by anybody…or that we did it to each other."

"One hell of a domestic." Seaver began, eying the faded blue of Neal's ribs.

"What the bloody hell is he playing at?" He threw on a shirt. "Stay with Kel, will you? Tell her I've gone to take the air, or the truth. Whichever sounds most believable."

He raced from the chamber.

--------------------------------------------------------

Cleon of Kennan was in the stable saddling up his mount when a whirring ball of energy tore into the stables and smacked him in the jaw. "_Hey_!"

"I _owed_ you that Kennan! I thought we'd forgotten what happened that day, between us, I mean…"

Cleon was silent, jaw gritted. Neal smacked him again.

"What is it, you oaf? My Gods, I thought you _loved_ her once. How can you do this to her?"

Cleon swore, his face turning red with anger. "That is exactly the point Queenscove, _I loved her_. She was mine and you took her…"

Neal spluttered incoherently.

"_What?_ I'm afraid I'll have to get my ears cleaned out, because I thought you said-"

"She was _MINE_ Queenscove, and you stole her."

Neal exploded.

"Kennan, you are _engaged,_ betrothed to another woman. _You _finished with Kel, and _you _broke her heart- in a way - and now you have the nerve to say I've stolen her?"

"It's the truth Queenscove."

Neal stood, hands on hips, face white with rage. When he spoke, his tone was icy.

"You can hate _me_ all you like, you utter _moron_…but if you don't testify today, you could skew the case. You cannot do this to her."

Cleon looked at his mount's hooves.

"What time?"

"Two and a half hours in Turomot's chambers. And don't try leg it."

"I'll be there"

The two men stood facing each other, breath steaming in the cold air.

"You're unfathomable Kennan, really."

"Yeah, well." Cleon started to remove the saddle as Neal paced away.

And that was that.

------------------------------------------------------

Back in the chamber, Kel was being serenaded by Owen and Seaver. The young men sang in harmony, a crude Gallan ditty along the lines of "Ten Friendly Fishwives." The song made Kel snort with laughter, as they poker faced their way through ten verses of unending filth. Neal arrived to find them finishing a small jig.

"Such talented people," Kel informed him delightedly "Where have you been?"

Neal looked at Owen. "Taking the air, I think."

Kel smiled at them all. She felt a lot braver with her friends around her.

She was ready for him.

--------------------------------------------------------

Her heart beat calmly as she took her seat in the Chambers of Duke Turomot of Wellam. The old man sat upon his lectern, staring down at them over an aquiline nose. _He looks like Scanrans just stormed the palace _Kel thought, eying his dour expression.

The trial of the three nobles had gathered a great crowd, and privately Kel thought a great deal of the audience should not strictly be there.

"Look at them," Neal muttered half to himself. "Like children at the circus. Hope the Duke tells them all where to go…especially _them._"

Joren's family glared at Kel, still bewildered that as soon as they had discovered their Joren to be alive, they had also discovered him a thug and a would-be rapist. Kel stared back at them, face stony.

As the prisoners came to the stand, her heart began to pound. Joren was huge and grimy in his convicts clothing, but she stood resolutely as the court said a prayer. Joren's eyes flicked lazily up and down her form. Neal gripped her hand discreetly.

The trial passed in a blur, Turomot paused several times to irately remove protestors from the chamber. They left hollering abuse at Kel.

Joren was so clearly contemptuous of the court, it was all the Lord Magistrate could do to keep his temper. The blond prisoner failed to answer questions, except with an insolent stare, and claimed among other things, that the assault took place because he had 'carnal knowledge' of Kel, and Neal was angry about it. As Baird catalogued Kel's injuries finally listing 'miscarriage', a murmur went up in the court. Across the room, Joren caught her eye, and smirked.

When Duke Turomot called a recess Kel went to hit the wall in the corridor until her knuckles were raw. Neal sealed them wordlessly.

To her immense satisfaction, Garvey of Runnerspring and Zahir ibn Alhaz received a sentence of fifteen years rock breaking on the coast. She watched as the men were led away, their eyes downcast. Now she waited for Joren. Turomot cleared his throat.

"It is an unusual step to take in these _modern _times…" he said the word as if it were something nasty he had stepped in. "…but, after a discussion with my peers, a thorough examination of this vile and degenerate crime and the guidance of Mithros, I have decided that this sentence is only proper. For the wronged Knight I allow the Gods to judge- _Trial by combat._

Kel's ears rang, blotting out the roar of the spectators. The chosen weapon was the spear.

On the stand Joren of Stone Mountain stood to his full height, hard and uncompromising muscle. He smiled emptily at her, but she felt undaunted; here she could do something. She had two weeks.

-------------------------------------------------

She had never trained nor eaten as well as she did in that week. She and Neal ran for an hour in the mornings, building her legs and stamina and cooling the worked-up feeling in her soul. She saw Hakuim Seastone in the afternoons, who helped her prime the swiftness of her reactions.

"You'll have to rely on your speed Kel," he told her as she threw him for the hundredth time that morning. "I can't do anything for your muscle- it'd take weeks to build more, and you'll never be as big as that brute. I still struggle to believe that the same half-girl I taught to tumble- no offence"

Kel scowled

"Well it is, and he absolutely loathes me."

Hakuim grinned "'Feeling's mutual then?"

"Right on."

-------------------------------------------------

The night before the trial Kel watched Neal playing with one of his tiny nephews at a noble's dinner. He magicked small floating multicoloured bubbles, which the little boy tried to grab and eat, looking astonished when they popped. Neal gave a light-hearted laugh and raised the child up to blow a raspberry on his belly, planting a kiss on his chuckling face. He turned to see Kel watching him, a pained expression hovering in his eyes.

Kel thought back suddenly to the small, wise face of the girl-seer Irnai, who had predicted to Kel that Neal's daughter would one day try for knighthood.

_The road of his life is littered with surprises_

She suddenly wondered how much the girl had known.

"Give it a few years darling, and we'll have ten of them…that is…if you're up to it..."

Kel pretended to wince, then gave him a slow spreading smile. He came over and kissed her warmly.

"Bravest woman I know," he told her matter of factly "Now go out there tomorrow and make me even prouder."


	8. Chapter 8 Trial and Error

Chapter Eight -Trial and Error.

The night before the trial Kel had forced herself, Yamani-like to sleep. In her dreams she was running down the fencing gallery holding Jump as she imagined him to look as a puppy. She knew Joren was behind one of the wall hangings. But _which one!_ She reached the end of the hall and turned around to face the long echoing room. It was empty. Before she could call for Neal she heard her name hissed, felt impossibly strong arms enfold her from behind, and drag her into the darkness.

------------------------------------------------------------

She opened bleary eyes to the sight of Neal's face. His chin bristled with fair, early morning stubble.

"Good mornin'"

"_Is it?_" she asked him thickly.

He ignored her. "How do you feel?"

She groaned.

"That good, eh? You've been dreaming all night, about_ him_, and at one point about green tea. Sounded like you'd fallen into a nettle patch. I doubt you got an ounce of proper sleep."

"More than you did – from the sound of it."

He yawned- "Possibly the worst night's sleep I have ever not- had…."

Kel got up and started splashing her face with water in the wash-basin.

"You must remember," Neal announced "That for all intents and purposes _I _am the anxious maiden in this happy scenario and I'm damn well going to play the part and enjoy it" Kel looked round at him, he was busy pulling the sheet into a becoming white veil around his head.

"You? Maidenly?" she said with disbelief. "_I'm _more maidenly than you… _and _you're possibly the ugliest maiden I've ever seen!"

He threw up his hands in mock- outrage and turned away sniffing, veil discarded. As Kel stood inspecting puffy eyes she felt long arms around her waist and a strong, taut body at her back.

"But not the ugliest knight…" she admitted as Neal kissed her and observed them both in the mirror.

"Look at my eyes. They've all puffed up." Neal prodded them.

"I can fix that… the water in the skin swells up around them…" he explained "Look."

He took his hands away, and they were their normal bright-looking hazel selves again.

"Thankyou." She was quiet for a moment, thinking, her face still.

"I'm going to beat him Neal."

He pulled her to him, wrapping her in sturdy arms.

"I know you are."

------------------------------------------------------

Tradition denoted that Kel must undergo a ritual bath before the trial. She was led into the tiled echoing bath by a dour looking knight unknown to her. In the centre of the room was a deep, round pool, its waters black and glinting. It was separated from another identical pool by a low wall. The Knight explained that the combatants were to face other as they underwent the cleansing ritual, and that her clothes could be found through a small door to her left. Kel nodded as she took this in. She felt giddy as she thanked the Goddess that Neal was not here instead of her.

_He'd probably just try jump the wall and drown Joren instead_ she thought shakily.

A few minutes later, Kel climbed into the bath wearing a white shift that covered her from neck to ankle. It drifted on the water as she lowered herself in. It was meant to be lukewarm, she was sure, but it _felt _freezing. She willed herself as stone, as the figure of Joren, clad in a loincloth was led to the bath at the other side of the room. Guards bristled around him, as if sensing the hostility in the air.

Kel allowed him barely a flick of her eyes, taking in his hardened white torso and eerie pale eyes whilst the Priest muttered indistinctly. When he was done Kel slicked back her wet hair and stepped immediately, dripping, from the bath. She refused to pull the clinging shift away from her form as she once would have, but instead let him see that she was a woman, with a woman's body and she was still going to thrash him.

She felt those eyes bore into her like needles, but made herself walk calmly to the waiting attendant, in her mind wanting to run and go curl up somewhere. She forced herself to take the proffered bath-sheet, and gave Joren a last measured stare, before padding into the changing room. When she sat down she thought she might be sick.

-------------------------------------

"Oh bugger Jump, I'm going to be late…I can't be _late_" Neal staggered around the chamber searching for his other slipper. "Aha!"

Jump eyed the leather shoe that was the object of so much pride with his head on one side. Humans were so strange, _especially _this one.

"You go on down to her," Neal ordered him, pulling open the chamber door and pulling on his slipper at the same time. He went to the basin and splashed his face with water, deciding he didn't have time to shave and promising he'd get a haircut.

In the corner of his eye he saw figures in the doorway..

"Merric, Owen, I thought we were meeting in the Great Hall?" He turned just as one of the figures threw a punch.

"_What the…?_"

He staggered backwards into the grip of another stranger, a commoner, from the rough burlap of the sleeve that held Neal's throat. The other was a surly-looking man in his thirties also seemingly a commoner. A third man appeared at the doorway, bearded and richly dressed. His hair was an arctic blond, looped into a ponytail.

"I come on behalf of Burchard of Stone Mountain." he began.

"I can tell _that _from those pretty tresses alone" Neal told him struggling.

"He asks that I forward this message to_ 'that whelp, Queenscove_.' He charges you with the destruction of his nephew's life, not once, but twice over…

"_Bollocks_"

"…_and_ _furthermore_, that you be soundly chastised for this."

"You like ganging up on a chap, you Stone Mountain lot don't you?"

Neal tried to dodge a kick to the ribs but couldn't, and doubled up gasping.

"Lord Burchard also repeats his firm hopes that Mithros will grant death and eternal darkness to that whore of yours in the trial today."

"_She is not a WHORE_" He slammed an elbow into his captor's ribs, who let out his breath with a painful whistle, and cracked the jaw of the man at his front, loosening teeth. Without missing a beat he threw the curled up man into the cabinet doors where he lay stunned. The blond man stepped backwards towards the door. Alarm twitched at the corner of his mouth. Neal broke the second man's nose with a nasty sounding crunch and rushed at the blond man who was searching at his waist. He swore as the man pulled a glistening sword from the hilt.

"_Oh you cheating…_"

The man lunged and Neal threw him over his hip, having to twist wildly to avoid the wicked blade; something popped in his shoulder. The colour drained from his face as he stumbled to the door, not looking at the blond man, just trying to reach the corridor. He yanked shut the door, muttering a spell. He hoped the blonde man had no Gift. Racing down the corridor he sighted the small body of Jump, trailing two guardsmen coming in his direction. He hid a grin and explained the situation, then ran to the Gallery. Agony lanced through his shoulder with every step.

----------------------------------------------------------

_Where was he?_

Kel peered out from behind the curtain into the cavernous Great Hall. Candles blazed in every chandelier, which along with the sunlight streaming through the tall windows made the room glow ethereally. At the furthest end of the long room Kel could see Lord Raoul and The Lioness sitting silently with Wyldon. His bald head was bent in conversation with Baird of Queenscove. Duke Turomot was sitting, stern in his furs, with a few of Tortall's fustiest authorities on combat. She thought she could make out the faces of Owen, Seaver and Cleon at the back of the stands. Cleon appeared to be gazing out of the window.

In the centre of the room the combat circle was marked out with a circle of red mage dust, a glowing _O _on the sand floor.

A flicker of movement made Kel turn towards the side door. Neal.

He walked unsteadily into the Hall and stood a moment. Kel peeled back the curtain and caught his eye. He gave her a wide encouraging smile, clearly fighting the urge to rush across the room to reassure her. She was allowed no contact with anybody until after the trial. Kel watched as he went to sit by his father, he seemed to be clutching his shoulder in an odd way. She saw Baird reach across concernedly and grip his youngest son's arm discreetly. Kel couldn't allow herself to muse any longer on Neal's injury and retreated into the small ante-chamber. Her nerves jangled and her mouth felt dry.

She had dressed simply, in loose crimson breeches of the Shang and a cream tunic. Her hair was bound behind her head in a leather tie; her feet wore weightless leather slippers. She shook out all her limbs and thought about the task ahead.

As she stepped from the curtain her heart was pulsing in her mouth. The sound in her ears roared like the sea. She half expected someone to come drag her from the room shouting about impostors. She didn't have the right to do this did she?

The room seemed unnaturally bright and her eyes narrowed predatorily. Then she looked at Neal. His face was strained. She remembered the day she had seen him crushed and bloody, unable to help him. But now she _could_ do something

She was ready.

The crowd saw the long figure of the young woman cross the room and take her spear from the attendant. She was dry-browed, her movements clear and compact.

Kel barely heard the herald announce Joren of Stone Mountain. As the huge man walked into the Hall there was a complete hush. The crowd knew that this wasn't some cheap wrestling match: The loser of this fight would be the first to be killed.

Joren had discarded his convict garb and wore once again the cool colours of his home fief. His hair was clean and impossibly blond, swept into a smooth ponytail. His face was more beautiful as ever, but Kel felt entirely unmoved. She thought Joren's movements reminded her of a big cat stalking through grass as he took hold of his spear. His eyes glistened with hate as he tried to stare her down. Kel kept her face blank.

_I am ready_.

The Lioness watched Neal's brow crease with worry, his arm forgotten.

Turomot's voice rose above the crowd, cracked and ill-tempered.

"Lady Keladry of Mindelan, you are here today to answer the noble's right of Joren of Stone Mountain to trial by combat. Only the Gods may judge him for the wrongs done you." A pause. "May the trial _commence._"

Joren began to move towards Kel immediately, but she held back, swinging her spear into the position she held her glaive every morning. She knew Wyldon would be frowning, but this was no time to give a damn. She kept moving, remembering the words of Hakuim Seastone. Joren was strong, but he wasn't as fast as Kel, and she countered his first lunge easily. His spear missed her by a heads length; she smashed her spear upwards, forcing him to back off to avoid being hit by his own weapon. Kel kept her stance and the two continued to circle, looking for an opening. Kel wondered secretly how such an angelic face could hide such a monster.

His brows were pale and arched; his rosy lips with their cupids bow parted a little. Right down to the sprinkling of fair stubble on his chin, he was a perfect creature.

Kel fumed. How _dare _this scum-sucker stand here trying to face her down, knowing he was guilty? She imagined how the scene would look to those who didn't know Joren, knowing they would side with his blameless façade. He had _hated_ her since her first day, she remembered. How bitter must he be to stand here now; to stand trial in the first place? He had beaten and tried to rape her, and ordered her best friend beaten to a pulp.

He lunged again, pushing her spear towards the ground. In the corner of her eye he saw his foot snake across for a kick

_Cheat_.

Kel used the butt of her spear to dead-leg him, and it showed, he retreated limping, eyeing her balefully. She knew Raoul would be hiding a smile; he had taught her that move himself last year. She surveyed Joren. The only sound Kel could hear was her deep breathing, and the ragged breath of her opponent.

_How could I really think he was beautiful? _she wondered. His face was made ugly with loathing, sweat glistened in his loose hair. He ran at her, muscles bunching, but she was ready. Their spears smacked together, as she parried each of his attacks. Joren bared his teeth and hissed

"When I walk out of here, Mindelan, I'm not done…"

_Thrust. Parry._

"I'm going for Queenscove, your family, your maid, your _dog_, and everyone else you hold dear. And you won't be able to do a thing.."

Kel's arms weakened at his terrible words. He was so _strong._

She looked into his eyes, and saw in them suddenly how pathetic he had become. All those years hating and brooding; all the time Kel had been growing and learning, he had been stuck in this dark place. He was _pitiable._

With infinite compassion and was felt like infinite slowness Kel swung her spear round like the _naginata _and drew the killing stroke across Joren's throat.

Blood sprayed, drenching her tunic. The young man knelt with a wet, gulping noise. His shocked eyes seemed almost black now, their liquid depths focused on Kel's face. The brightness of the Hall almost defeated her as she forced herself to bow, blocking out the wails from Joren's relatives.

"_Goodbye Joren._" She whispered wearily, dropping her spear. She turned and strode from the room, looking neither left nor right.

-----------------------------------------------------

Kel sat in the ante-room surveying the carnage in the hall through the curtain as the crowd left. The mage-circle glowed malevolently. At its gore-soaked centre, Joren's figure lay; hand over face as if sleeping. Light rays illuminated him. He looked so young and white and small. It was too sad. So white against all this _blood_

Kel tore the stained clothes from her with a disgust she had never felt before, and ran into the baths, plunging into the waters and scrubbing her skin until every last stain was gone. She changed, shivering. She wouldn't allow herself to cry because she didn't think she would be able to stop if she did.

She caught her reflection in the metal chamber door and halted, taking in her long form and mussed brown hair. She looked vaguely like a street-urchin.

_What is it about me that made him hate me so much? Is there something bad in me?_

Kel didn't know how long she stood there. She barely felt green eyes upon her, and the long arms that encircled her waist and drew her from the room.


	9. Chapter 9 Resolutions

Chapter Nine- Resolutions.

Kel awoke to sunbeams streaming through her eyelids. For one dreadful moment she thought she was back at the trial. And then she heard voices strike up an obscene ditty. She grinned and sat up.

"Good afternoon, Madam." Merric greeted her, his pale eyes twinkling.

Her friends lounged around her chamber. Cleon and Merric were playing a game of dice. Owen and Seaver appeared to be the main offenders when it came to the singing. Even Lalasa sat at the foot of her bed cradling Jump.

"I couldn't bear to see the trial Milady," Lalasa apologized, "but I took the afternoon off from the shop to visit. We wondered if you'd ever wake up!"

"Nah, she's just lazy."

"Piss off."

Lalasa put Jump down and came to hug her. "I think you need a cup of tea."

Kel hugged her back… "Sounds lovely."

Cleon brought one across and handed it to her with a flourish. "For you, my sweet…"

He frowned and bit his lip.. "Sorry…I shouldn't've…"

Kel accepted it graciously and smiled at him.

"When's the wedding then?"

"Not for another moon yet…" Cleon sounded less than enthusiastic.

"She's…nicely built…though." Owen piped up optimistically.

Everyone laughed, including Cleon.

Then he frowned again. "She's not you though."

Kel shrugged and tried to look apologetic. She thought it might take more than a few moons before Cleon stopped thinking about her like that.

The chamber door opened unexpectedly and a pair of long arms threw themselves around Kel's neck. "You _fiend!_" a husky voice whispered in her ear. "How could you worry me like _that!_" Neal pulled back to look at her, his eyes feverish, his face glowing as if he'd been running. Kel saw again how bloody _gorgeous_ he was.

"Master Nealan's been pacing the room like a man with ants in his breeches; so we sent him out to cool down." Lalasa explained.

"It's true," he told her ruefully, "But I had wanted to be here when you woke up…" He started as if he had just remembered something. "If you're wondering why I was nearly late for the trial…"

Neal explained the story, when he'd finished Kel looked uneasy.

"It looks like we'll have to be careful of reprisals…" she said.

"Everyone knows trial-by-combat is decided by the Gods," Merric exclaimed. "Anyone who bothered you now would be a fool, in the sight of the Gods and the law." There were nods of agreement.

Owen suddenly looked wicked.

"Kel, you'll never guess what Neal learned this morning…" he grinned impishly at Neal before continuing. "Yukimi noh Daiomoru is betrothed."

Kel goggled and looked at Neal who grinned reassuringly.

"What? To who?"

Owen snorted; the rest of her friends were shaking with silent laughter.

"We don't know much about him, seeing as he's too far North to visit Court often…"

"North?..What?.." Realization dawned. "You mean he's a…"

"A Scanran!" they chorused.

-------------------------------------------------

Kel sat in Lord Raoul's Chambers a week later finishing a conversation about the Own's next journey.

"Pirates; will they ever learn?" he asked her, disbelievingly. Kel grinned.

"I think they just want to be able to say they've fought you sir…"

Raoul made a face as she got up to leave.

"I think Queenscove mentioned he wanted a word with you in the stables, Kel"

She frowned a little. She knew his words were concealing another meaning, but she couldn't tell _what_…

"Alright sir. I'll go straight down."

"You do that." He smiled after her.

----------------------------------------------------

Kel saw Neal's slim figure before he saw her; he was talking to himself by the piles of equipment that lay in readiness for the Own's journey.

"Hey!"

He wheeled round and grinned at her. Could she detect a hint of nervousness in his expression? If she did, it was quickly concealed. He coughed and swept his hair back from his widow's peak, the way he did when he was agitated. Kel knew something was up…

"I was just checking our tent for the trip. Just my luck to find it's got moth or something…contagious…"

Something in Kel's brain clicked.

_Our tent._

"Neal, we can't share a tent on the journey. I mean, you know I want to, but Lord Raoul…nobody would think it was proper…"

Neal's long fingers twisted a piece of thread off the tent. Then he turned and faced her. He took a deep breath.

"That's just it Kel, I've spoken to Raoul…" his green eyes were worried. A sprinkling of golden stubble covered his chin. He hasn't shaved, she realized. Something's wrong. He looks so…_ vulnerable._

"I know you're so fiercely, incredibly independent Kel, and you'll probably just laugh when I say this. In truth, I don't know how you'll take it… Gods know you seen me act this kind of rubbish before and I don't want you to think… I'm almost twenty five Kel; I don't mess around anymore…"

_Oh Gods, he's ending it…how can he do this?...how will I manage without…?"_

"…And when Cleon messed you about, I was just so angry…I wanted you to find someone, you know, someone who could see you at your best and your…absolute worst and always…_always…_love you."

He stopped, looking ashen, his eyes searching her face.

"And then I knew. That it was me. That person was _me." _Neal swallowed.

"…I don't want to go to the coast with you just as my lover, Kel…I want you to be my wife."

The words came out in a rambling stream, so different from the drawling eloquence Kel was used to. Her heart thrummed in her breast.

"_Will you… do me the honour…_"

"Shh." She put a finger to his lips. "Spare me that flowery stuff. I love you, and I will."

Neal beamed - pleasure and relief showing in his expression. He pulled her towards him, held her face in his hands and kissed her, eliciting whistles from a pair of grooms at the far end of the stables. They both laughed and he rumpled her hair. Then her forehead crinkled. "Neal, we leave in five days. We can't get _married_ before then… I won't have time to get word to Ma and Pa for a start."

"All taken care of…" he told her, arm around her shoulder as they walked into the sun. "…I wrote to your father a moon ago. He said he couldn't imagine a better man, which was nice, but also that I shouldn't write you too much poetry." Neal grimaced.

"So you knew I'd say _yes _then? Sneaky git. _I _should be so cock-sure!"

Neal kissed her in mock-contrition.

"What did Raoul say?" she asked curiously

"He looked like a man would look at his first-born; which if Buri has anything to do with, he won't be doing again for some years yet. He also said he wished he could see it, purely for the look upon your face..

"I bet he did. What about Owen and Seaver and everyone?"

"Ah, now those I haven't told. You'll have that wonderful task yourself. I imagine Owen will find it rather icky that his two fellow Knights are getting hitched. Seaver and Merric, they'll act surprised, but they're not blind. As for Cleon…"

"Cleon will accept it politely, if not straight away then eventually…I do feel sorry for him, but we'd've been appalling together. He was always pestering me to sleep with him, and then when I threatened to take him up on the offer, he bottled out."

"Foolish man." Neal said, kissing her again.

"I felt the way I felt last time I talked to Dom and those _ladies…_"

"Another foolish man."

"…and his temper was far too hot."

"Well…_redheads…_"

"I bet you don't say that kind of thing around the Lioness.."

"You know my tongue. I _try_ so hard. I still have the scars."

Kel gestured towards the mess-

"Come on bigmouth, let's get it over with."

-----------------------------------------------------

The news was announced quietly, which didn't stop a scattering of applause and good-natured wolf-whistles from the group. Each of her friends came to them separately, to shake Neal's hand, or hug Kel boyishly around the head.

"You know, this is the only time in my life that the thought of marriage hasn't chilled me to the bone." Neal said thoughtfully, looking at Kel. "It just feels like we're making things _official_"

This drew filthy comments from the group, and no-one watched as Cleon slipped quietly away.

Kel left the hall to go change and as she entered the darkened side corridor she felt somebody pull her sleeve.

"Kel."

She put up her hands defensively.

"Kel, it's me, Cleon."

"Oh." She backed away a little.

Cleon stepped into the light; his eyes were fevered. He reached forwards and gripped her shoulders tightly.

"Kel, I need to know. Have you done this deliberately? To hurt me? Because it does, I mean, you have… and what about Neal?"

Kel wrenched her arms free and moved away a little.

"_What?_" and then incredulously, "Cleon, I _love _Neal, I always have. He was the first friend I made in this place, remember?"

"If you have, I'll break off the engagement…I'll get the money somewhere else, I'll.."

"Cleon! There are so many more beautiful women in this world, including your wife-to-be. You have to forget about us."

"I can't."

Kel felt uncomfortable. She didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't give him any false hopes. She looked into the redhead's big handsome face.

"Cleon, I don't love you. What we had was just lust and…silliness. It ended before it even began, remember?" Kel recalled the painful day that Cleon had announced his engagement. "I haven't seen you for so long I thought must have forgotten."

"_Forgotten?_" his voice was bitter "How could I _forget?_ I wanted to stay away from you so I didn't have to think about you. When I saw you that first morning, on Owen's birthday. Just standing there, in that shirt…I couldn't bear it. And when I saw Neal there I could've _killed_ him. You know how he's always wound me up on purpose…"

"For a laugh Cleon, never maliciously. And we weren't sleeping together then, if that's what you thought."

"…Didn't take you long though, did it?"

"For Goddess' sake..."

"I'm sorry. It's just, at first I thought he was doing this to spite me, that both of you were. And then I saw, how much you loved each other. I don't know which was worse."

"Cleon…"

"Hear me out, Kel." He closed his eyes as if summoning his nerve. When he spoke his voice was hoarse and quivering.

"I have never, ever met another woman like you. I know I never will. When I said all those things, about you being my friend, my comrade, that Ermelian couldn't be those things. I meant them. That no-one could ever tire of you, no woman match up to you… I'll live out my life and I'll grow old with my wife, but I will never stop thinking of you."

Kel stood, frozen. He was completely serious.

Cleon looked hungrily at her lips, but then as if thinking better of it, planted a chaste kiss upon her forehead, his lips lingering there unhappily.

"I think it would be better if we didn't see each other after this wedding Kel. I don't think I could stand it, y'know?"

"I know."

His face was tight with anguish.

"You're coming then, to the wedding, I mean?"

He tried a smile. It looked ghoulish.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Then he was gone and Kel was left feeling intensely sad.


	10. Chapter 10 Beginnings

Chapter Ten-Beginnings.

The Chapel of Mithros was fuller than she had expected, Kel thought as she peered through the curtain. Her stomach churned at the thought of all those people looking at her. She could cope with an audience at a fight; after all, she didn't have to _say_ anything then. The worst that could really happen was a lot of bleeding, possibly disembowelment; and _that _she could handle. _Who invited them all?_ she fretted.

Lalasa fussed around her, tugging at the dress she wore.

She looked beyond the curtain again. The overall feel of the chapel was one of carnival. Wildflowers reigned abundant, trailing over the pews and the priest's lectern, where he stood trying to look dignified. Tiny flower girls, Neal's nieces, raced around, chirping like sparrows. On the front pew she could make out Piers and Ilane of Mindelan in conversation with Neal's father. Raoul sat grinning next to Buri. Various relatives looked on; Kel's year mates took up a whole pew to themselves, all looking ridiculously jolly. She turned to the mirror and anxiously screwed up her face.

"Oh Gods Lalasa, I look like a _cow._"

She had announced the occasion to the older woman on the day Neal had proposed, hoping she would be able to adjust one of her old gowns. Lalasa had gone into paroxysms of joy and had insisted upon stitching an entire new gown for Kel, promising to keep it simple. Kel had to admit, the gown _was_ beautiful. It was certainly fit for Queen Thayet, that was for certain.

"Keladry!"

Lalasa tapped her smartly. Kel jumped to hear the woman use her proper name.

"You look like the most elegant, gorgeous and splendid creature in Corus, and if half the lads in that room weren't already secretly in love with you before, then they soon will be." Her eyes swept Kel appraisingly. "Sir Nealan is a very fortunate man."

Kel hugged the girl gratefully and took the proffered bouquet of lily-of-the-valley.

"Thankyou Lalasa. I needed that."

Lalasa smiled.

"I meant every single word. I have never felt so proud of you, or indeed, my own dress-making skills." She winked at Kel

"Now go on."

--------------------------------------------------

An audible gasp filled the chapel as she entered. The walk to the altar was not a long one, but it felt like a mile, and she thanked Mithros for her Yamani-smooth expression. She felt her friends and relatives watching her delightedly; and felt a little internal pride as Domitan of Masbolle goggled at her. Cleon watched silently in the back pew as she walked towards Neal. The golden-cream dress she wore was low at the neck and slender-sleeved, a simple golden belt hung low on her hips. The soft skirt fell in liquid folds to the floor, and she wore a gossamer golden veil over her face, as was the tradition.

_I would have got married in breeches if they'd've let me_ she thought and giggled privately at the idea. _What must I look like?_

The look Neal gave her answered the question for her.

She felt giddy as they stepped through the marriage rites. At the end of the Handfasting Neal lifted the veil and looked at her wonderingly before pressing his smiling mouth on to hers to the sound of applause.

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There was no time for family celebrations, but everybody made their congratulations known. The Lioness, Raoul and Buri hugged Kel warmly, Buri commenting "I wouldn't've put you down for all this fuss Kel!"

Kel shrugged and laughed.

"I'm not sure who to blame for all this yet," she gestured around her, "but I suppose a lady must do her duty, eh?"

"Quite right." the Lioness cackled, a fellow soldier in the battle against 'lady-like' behaviour. Ilane of Mindelan put her arms around Kel and kissed her, shortly followed by Piers.

"I think you're father's relieved it's Nealan," she said melodiously, "He was dreading you bringing home some pompous knight home for Midwinter."

"I was indeed."

"And _everybody's _said there is no better man."

Kel looked over at Neal, unbearably handsome in dark green garb. He looked up to see her watching, and grinned a wonky, lop-sided grin, love in every inch of his expression.

"You tell him that Mama, but don't blame me if he gets big-headed. He has promised no poetry though."

"Ah, small blessings…" her father chortled.

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Later they went to her chambers, where Owen had organised a gathering, closing off the top corridor of their apartments. He had got together a fiddler's band who played lively music as the drink flowed and the floor filled with friends, Riders and Knights of the Own.

Kel and Neal disappeared into the corridor for a dance, alone. She felt like the girl she could've been for not the first time in her life.

"I hope you don't expect that this _dancing_ thing will become a regular occurrence?" she said jokingly as he spun her slowly, and pulled her close to him.

"Of course not," he soothed her. "A Knight needs her toes, and I seem to be exceptionally good at treading on yours." He stroked her face.

"I had noticed.

"_Ahem._"

Kel wheeled to see Lord Wyldon and Jump behind her. She smiled self-consciously.

"Hello, sir."

Wyldon gave a low whistle at her appearance, and a rare smile as Kel crouched to pet Jump.

"I'm sorry to both of you that I missed the Handfasting…"

Kel doubted if this was entirely true. She gave a little grin as she thought of Wyldon attending anything so _happy, _especially the marriage of two of his former students. He'd probably see it as a massive failure on his part, she thought, amused.

"…I thought I'd find you young people carousing up here, and I thought I would deliver my wedding present."

_What on earth?_

He handed to Neal two thick sheaves of expensive-looking parchment. Neal stared at them as if Lord Wyldon had just passed him a pair of kippers.

"Maps of the coast, Mindelan, not traditional I know, but fully up to date. More useful for your next quest than any lace bedspread, I daresay."

Kel nodded fervently. Neal was still stunned.

"Most definitely…Would you like a drink?..."

"No, no…I must get back, however…" he picked up Kel's hand, raised it to his mouth and kissed it. Kel felt a blush rising.

"I wish you both the happiest of lives together. Goddess knows, you're made for each other…"

He released her hand and paced away from them in the direction he came, Jump trailing after him…

"My Gods…" Neal began slowly, "did he…? Was that…?"

"I know. Who'd've thought it, eh?" Kel remembered the distinctly un-knight-like feeling she had experienced as Wyldon had kissed her hand…

"'Wyldon of Cavall; the consummate charmer'. He actually treated me like a real-live woman. Should I go after him, do you think?" she giggled wickedly.

"Can't." Neal pressed her against his chest. "I'm not letting you go ever."

She hugged him back.

"Sounds good to me."

They rejoined the party, which continued until the early hours. Kel won an arm wrestle with an insistent Owen (_Fluke! Fluke!_) and another after it. She got rather more tipsy than she had anticipated, but didn't, for that moment, care.

What gave her hope was the sight of Neal embracing Cleon tightly, and speaking a few quiet words to him before he fled the room.

After everyone had left, and they sat alone amongst the aftermath of the party, Kel asked Neal what they had talked about.

"Ah, the obvious…" Neal looked thoughtful. "If he ever tries it on with you in future, you must tell me so I can try and break him arm…"

"Try?"

"I fear I'd be pounded into the dust by then. 'Man's a giant."

They both laughed.

"Don't worry, if he ever tried it on, I would do it my self…" She told him about the last time she and the redhead had spoken.

"I think we've left a very unhappy man."

"He'll find another obsession." Kel tried to sound confident.

"Funnily enough, I don't think he will…I know what that feels like, knowing that no-one he will ever meet will be like you, will measure up… You are incredibly…special."

Kel kissed him firmly as she pulled of his tunic.

"Prove it to me then."

Neal began to un-lace her bodice, feeling for the warm flesh underneath then pulled her towards him elatedly.

"I think I might just do that."

**Epilogue**

Peachblossom shifted in the balmy afternoon, scoring the ground with his hoof and skittering impatiently as the riders around him saddled their

mounts. The Own's courtyard was packed with men and equipment. Kel sighed contentedly; back with the gelding and back in breeches she felt at home again. A couple of Crown's descendents cheeped at her from Peachblossom's rump.

"Along for the ride are we? It's pirates this time, you know." A knot of excitement bubbled up inside her.

"Talking to the air again Kel?" a throaty voice drawled in her ear, drawing a shiver from her. Neal looked around furtively at the lazy mounts resting in the sunlight, and dragged her behind Peachblossom to kiss her. The gelding snorted.

"Luckily for you, you'll have a healer with you this time."

"And you won't let me forget it, I'll wager."

"Gods no. As I say, I like to feel useful."

He stroked her eyebrow with a long finger, suddenly pensive.

"I love you, you know Kel… It's just nice to be able to show it."

Kel kissed him.

"I love you. Just don't get too adoring or there'll be a mutiny."

Neal shoved her disgustedly. "Hah bloody hah."

Lord Raoul's horn sounded across the yard. They mounted up with a fond glance at each other. Kel felt breathless with anticipation. She was here, in the sun, in the breeze with her best friend, and she was about to set out to somewhere she'd never been before…

"Life's _good_ isn't it?" she commented.

Neal smirked good-humouredly.

"Tell me that after a week riding _that _brute."

For once, Peachblossom didn't aim a nip as he started to trot behind the glittering procession out of Corus.

With the wind in her hair she urged him on.

"Come on Peachblossom, _let's go_."

**The End.**


End file.
